Loving Your Friends (Love Series – Part 2)
Some people expect friendships to just be easy. There’s a problem with that. Friendships are a type of relationship too, and relationships have their ups and downs. The closer you are with a friend, the more the relationship will be similar to that of a marriage. There’s give and take. You’ve got to put in some effort to keep the relationship going. So, don’t expect all your friendships to just be easy peasy.
Here are some reminders on how you can be a more loving friend.
Don’t overanalyze – In today’s text crazy social media world, we tend to spend more electronic time with people than actual physical face time. When messaging someone we miss out on a few social cues like tone of voice and body language. Sure, we have a plethora of emojis to choose from to try to convey the mood or tone of the message, but even those don’t always come out right or get interpreted the way you intend. Remember this before being accusatory or getting upset with the way a friend responded.
Also, don’t overanalyze when a friend doesn’t respond right away, even if it shows that the message has been seen. There are times when I “see” the message, but I’m currently in the middle of something else and don’t have time to respond at that moment. Sometimes I’m trying to finish something else, and I accidentally open a message I wasn’t ready to read yet. If someone doesn’t answer you right away, it doesn’t always mean she’s trying to avoid you. She just might need a hot minute to finish something else before responding. So, don’t overanalyze.
Give grace –Have you ever had moments where you’ve thought, if she was really a good friend, she wouldn’t do that to me? I have. You know what I say to that? – Are you perfect? Nope. Didn’t think so.
I don’t care if she’s been your best friend for 5 months or 5 years, don’t be so quick to throw a friendship out when you get hurt. People make mistakes. You’re going to have disagreements and misunderstandings, especially the longer you are friends. Give grace.
Listen – Sometimes we all just need someone to listen. It feels good just to get out some feelings without expecting the person to offer a solution. Try to listen more and interrupt less. Also, pay attention while listening. Put the phone down and be present with your friend.
Make time – I think one of the best ways to love a friend is to give them your time. Look sister, I know you may be busy. We can all use that excuse. Yes, I said excuse because that’s what it is. We all have things to do, and outside of working and sleeping we choose what to do with the rest of our time. I know moms with several kids that still make time for friends. It may be difficult, but if you truly want some friend time, you’ll make it happen.
Let’s try to stop using the phrase “we need to get together soon” and start saying things like“hey girl, what are you doing next Tuesday…” When you continue to tell someone you want to get to together but neglect to put actual plans in place, the words lose their meaning. Love you friends and follow through by making time for them.
If you want better friends, try being a better friend!
Up next, Loving Strangers. Be sure to Subscribe to my Tribe below so you don’t miss any posts!